Mobile Friendship

For some people, 7+ hours in a car can be maddening. When you're range of motion is limited to a radius of about two feet in any direction for hours on end, it doesn't take much to make one irritable. However, the older I get, the more I find that enjoy road trips. When I was a young child, the 5 1/2 hour (6 1/2 after numerous stops my mom required) trip from Richmond to Ocean Isle in North Carolina might as well have been the equivalent of a cross-country expedition. After a while, I would get tired of all my Gameboy games and count the minutes til we would be at the beach. Over the past year, however, I have developed a new-found appreciation of long car trips. I love my parents very much, but they do not make great travel companions. As I make more trips with my friends and peers, I am beginning to see how much of a positive impact these trips can have on a friendship.

The first of the experiences that influenced this reflection came in mid-July. While at school, I meet on a semi-regular basis with three of my closest friends here at school (Tim Powitz, Justin Ferry, and Brendan McElroy) to share what's going on in our lives. This has served to strengthen our friendship into one that I am certain will last for the remainder of our lives. However, it is hard for us to spend time with each other when we are not at school, as Justin lives here in Hampton, Tim and I live in Richmond, and Brendan lives all the way in New Jersey. In order to remedy the situation, Tim, Justin and I decided we would brave the treacherous lands of Washington D.C., Baltimore, and Philadelphia to visit Brendan for a few days. While the visit itself was incredible, it is a topic for another post, as I want to focus on the trip up and back. For the first time in months, Justin, Tim and I were able to just hang out and talk without having to worry about conflicting schedules. Because the three of us are such close friends, we were able to be real and vulnerable with one another. It is in these types of conversations that I am most able to see God work in my life. I saw what it meant to have people care about my life and had the opportunity to convey the same thing to them. I don't believe we would have had this opportunity had it not been for the metal and plastic confines of Justin's faded red Stratus.

One month later, I undertook another lengthy car ride. This time, I traveled with my long time friend, Kevin Jones. We had talked all summer of gather our friends and making a road trip down to Atlanta to see our beloved Braves play in their home stadium. Come time for the trip, the only ones who who could go were Kevin and I. As I mentioned above, Kevin and I have been friends for a long time. We grew up together attending Mount Vernon Baptist Church. When I was a freshman in high school, Kevin invited me to be a part of the praise band he was putting together, which would later become Little Man Ministries. However, as good of friends as Kevin and I are, I have always been closer to his younger brother, Ryan. Ryan and I have been great friends since our days in the RAs at church. Being an only child, I've always seen Kevin and Ryan as the brothers I've never had. Kevin was the older brother that I looked up to, but was kind of afraid to hang around to much lest I become an annoyance to him. It was awesome to finally get a chance to hang out just with Kevin. Because Kevin and I both have goofy senses of humor, the soundtrack of the trip consisted mainly of stand-up comedians, which had us in stitches for hours. The time that wasn't spent laughing along to the likes of Christopher Titus and Brian Regan, however, was filled with good, heart-felt conversation. For once, I had an opportunity to talk about things things that really mattered; things like spirituality, relationships, and the future in general. Kevin is an incredibly intelligent guy, and his devotion to the Lord is a rarity. I've always considered Kevin as a mentor of sorts, so the time that I got to spend with him on a one-on-one basis was a true privilege. In hindsight, I can think of few better places to have such an interaction with him than in a place where distractions are few and obligations fade away.

This past January, I made the trip to New Jersey for a second time. This time, however, there were more people present. Once again, I rode with Tim, but this time we were accompanied by our friends Anne Taylor Robertson and Mary Margaret Pike (my friend, Tim's girlfriend). I've been friends with Anne Taylor and Mary Margaret since we were freshman. However, in case you are unaware, I am very introverted. That's not to say that I don't enjoy being around people, because that could not be further from the truth. What it does mean, however, is that it takes me a little while to be comfortable with people. When I do become comfortable with someone, though, I am very loyal. Throughout the first three years we've been at school and participated in Young Life together, I've always considered them to be friends. However, I always felt a bit awkward in interacting with them. It must be known that this is no consequence of their doing, but rather just the way my social skills are wired. They have been nothing but welcoming, I'm just jacked up (kidding, kidding). This car trip, however, gave me the opportunity to hang out with them for an extended period of time. We were sort of forced (I don't like the word, though, because it has negative connotations) to engage in conversation. Although most of the conversation was surface level conversation, I really enjoyed it. I learned so much about them in that time than I have in any past interaction. By the end of the trip, I felt that our friendship had evolved from being friends in the sense that we hung out on occasion, to friends in the sense that I valued their company.

Friendship is an incredible thing. Life is more enjoyable when you have someone to share it with. However, friendship development requires time spent together. In the life of a college student, this time is hard to come by, as schedules seem to be overflowing with plans and obligations. When we finally find time to spend with friends, our environments are so full of external stimuli that quality time is often swept from under our feet. Sometimes, I have found, the only way to develop a friendship is to choose a destination, choose a traveling mate, and drive.