Indian Giving (...for lack of a better term)

I don't really like the term "Indian Giver" in that it links a negative trait to a certain group of people for no apparent reason.  That being said, it's the only widely-recognizable term for the concept that I know of.  I thought of using the term "hypocrisy/hypocrite", but it is too broad of a term that encompasses more than the specific action I want to discuss.  So because of that, I will begrudgingly use it.

In case anyone is unfamiliar with the term, an "Indian Giver" is a person who gives a gift to someone, only to later ask for the item back (thus negating the gift giving process).  We are taught as children that this kind of behavior is dishonest and selfish.  Giving should be something done with graciousness and love, not with envy.  For most of us, by time we become adults, recognize this as being inappropriate behavior and, frankly, not a good way to make friends.  So we don't do it.  Or do we?

I have come to realize recently that I still exhibit this type of behavior.  You may think to yourself "Jimmy, when did you ever give me something and then ask for it back?" (or even, "Jimmy, when have you ever given me something? Ya cheap jerk."  If so, my apologies!) Well, as far as I know, it's never been another person to whom I've offered an Indian Gift (is that even a word?).  It has been God.

I cannot count nor remember each time that I have offered something in my life, typically a struggle, to the Father so I could "trust" in His goodness.  However, as soon as I notice that things are not going the way that I am sure they should, I quickly reach out and try to snatch it from God's grasp so that I can tend to it how I see fit.  Was there ever any trust present to begin with?  Did I ever really think that God had my best interest in mind?  Or was I just searching for validation that I was a capable master of my own life?  (Spoiler alert - hahahahahaha, no.)

Now, logic would dictate that, if you were to entrust something to an omniscient, omnipotent, and benevolent being and said thing did not turn out the way you expected or hoped it would, it would make the most sense to realign your hopes and expectations with the design of that being.  However, I've never been one for logic.  I once stuck toy skateboard wheel  in my ear canal because "I though it would be funny." It got stuck.  (I then tried to remove the wheel from my ear by sniffing pepper, holding my nose closed, and sneezing...the idea being that the force of air pressure in my ears would dislodge the toy from ear. But that's a discussion for another day).  Clearly, logic and I don't see eye to eye.

Sometimes, however, being a knucklehead can be dangerous.  Like when you consider your own plans to be higher than that of the Almighty.  But here's the beauty of grace: even when we become so enthralled with our own tiny plans that we try to limit God's involvement, He doesn't abandon us.  When we finally, and inevitably, become frustrated that our plans didn't turn out the way we had envisioned them, He gently requests that we let him try.  And that's when He shines.  That's when He shows us what He had in mind all along. And it's SO much better than what we thought.

In true knucklehead fashion, it takes a few figurative fingers in the light socket to realize that maybe I don't always know what's best.  But hindsight really is 20/20.  I have no reason NOT to trust in the Lord's goodness and his power.  I am finding that when I surrender my fears and my struggles to the Father, it's best to just step out of the way and watch Him work.  Often times the process is not going to look the way that I want it too.  A lot of times it's going to bring me some discomfort.  But the result always turns out be be more fantastic than I had previously imagined.  If I can keep myself from trying to take my struggles back, I think I'll find I can save myself a whole lot of headache.  And heartache.  And earache.