20/20

I'm going to level with you all: I'm scared. In less than two weeks, I will walk across the stage in the middle of Pomoco Stadium and be handed a college diploma, signifying that I will officially be a college graduate, holding a degree in English. The very next day, I will be completely lost. I do not have a job lined up. I do not have any internships lined up. I do not want to go to grad school, at least not right now. It is a very unsettling situation to find oneself in. So I'm scared. But I'm not panicking. I'm nervous. But I have peace. I have everything I need to be sure of my future success. I have a family who have supported me since birth and will continue to support me through my future endeavors. I have friends who love me who I know will always be there when I need them to be. And I know a God who is perfect in power.

For the past twenty-two years of existence on this planet, life has been good. However, I can no longer count on two hands the amount of times I've found myself in situations which seemed to have no beneficial results. Often times, I've cried out to God and found that He did not answer my prayers the way I wanted him to. At the time, it seemed that I had been abandoned. However, I have been learning recently that hindsight always really is 20/20. I cannot think of a time in my life when my God has not come through for me. Often times it has not been in the ways that I had wished at the time. But He always guided me through. And furthermore, I always find that his solution always yields greater results than mine. In an instance of particular emotional pain, my father once told me that sometimes it's ok to not be ok. Heartache is never pleasant. Loneliness is never enjoyable. But God is faithful. If it weren't for times of heartache, I would not be able to appreciate joy. If I had never felt loneliness, then I would not know how precious the friendships I have are. I often feel bad, because I am not good at orally verbalizing how much I appreciate people. My emotions are best conveyed through writing. So to anyone reading this: please know that your friendship means more to me than you can ever imagine. I feel so incredibly blessed to have you in my life. Even in times when I push you away, I always appreciate you. But I digress.

So that brings me to my current situation: scared and uncertain. But like I said, my God is faithful. I am learning to understand that there may be a time in the near future when I will not have any job opportunities. I may have to be ok with not being ok. But that's ok. Because I serve a big God, and I serve a loving God. He will provide. He already has. He's provided me an awesome family. He's provided me an incredible group of friends. If I stay in Richmond, I'm ok with that. If I move to Newport News, I'm ok with that. If I have to move to Charlottesville, I will eventually be ok with that. If I have to move to Northern Virginia, I will learn to be ok with that. If I have to move out of Virginia, I will not be ok with that, but God will bring to to a point where I am. I'm scared, but I trust my family. I'm uncertain, but I trust my friends. I'm apprehensive, but I trust my God. Because hindsight is 20/20, and they have always seen me through it. I'm ok with not being ok for a time.

Mobile Friendship

For some people, 7+ hours in a car can be maddening. When you're range of motion is limited to a radius of about two feet in any direction for hours on end, it doesn't take much to make one irritable. However, the older I get, the more I find that enjoy road trips. When I was a young child, the 5 1/2 hour (6 1/2 after numerous stops my mom required) trip from Richmond to Ocean Isle in North Carolina might as well have been the equivalent of a cross-country expedition. After a while, I would get tired of all my Gameboy games and count the minutes til we would be at the beach. Over the past year, however, I have developed a new-found appreciation of long car trips. I love my parents very much, but they do not make great travel companions. As I make more trips with my friends and peers, I am beginning to see how much of a positive impact these trips can have on a friendship.

The first of the experiences that influenced this reflection came in mid-July. While at school, I meet on a semi-regular basis with three of my closest friends here at school (Tim Powitz, Justin Ferry, and Brendan McElroy) to share what's going on in our lives. This has served to strengthen our friendship into one that I am certain will last for the remainder of our lives. However, it is hard for us to spend time with each other when we are not at school, as Justin lives here in Hampton, Tim and I live in Richmond, and Brendan lives all the way in New Jersey. In order to remedy the situation, Tim, Justin and I decided we would brave the treacherous lands of Washington D.C., Baltimore, and Philadelphia to visit Brendan for a few days. While the visit itself was incredible, it is a topic for another post, as I want to focus on the trip up and back. For the first time in months, Justin, Tim and I were able to just hang out and talk without having to worry about conflicting schedules. Because the three of us are such close friends, we were able to be real and vulnerable with one another. It is in these types of conversations that I am most able to see God work in my life. I saw what it meant to have people care about my life and had the opportunity to convey the same thing to them. I don't believe we would have had this opportunity had it not been for the metal and plastic confines of Justin's faded red Stratus.

One month later, I undertook another lengthy car ride. This time, I traveled with my long time friend, Kevin Jones. We had talked all summer of gather our friends and making a road trip down to Atlanta to see our beloved Braves play in their home stadium. Come time for the trip, the only ones who who could go were Kevin and I. As I mentioned above, Kevin and I have been friends for a long time. We grew up together attending Mount Vernon Baptist Church. When I was a freshman in high school, Kevin invited me to be a part of the praise band he was putting together, which would later become Little Man Ministries. However, as good of friends as Kevin and I are, I have always been closer to his younger brother, Ryan. Ryan and I have been great friends since our days in the RAs at church. Being an only child, I've always seen Kevin and Ryan as the brothers I've never had. Kevin was the older brother that I looked up to, but was kind of afraid to hang around to much lest I become an annoyance to him. It was awesome to finally get a chance to hang out just with Kevin. Because Kevin and I both have goofy senses of humor, the soundtrack of the trip consisted mainly of stand-up comedians, which had us in stitches for hours. The time that wasn't spent laughing along to the likes of Christopher Titus and Brian Regan, however, was filled with good, heart-felt conversation. For once, I had an opportunity to talk about things things that really mattered; things like spirituality, relationships, and the future in general. Kevin is an incredibly intelligent guy, and his devotion to the Lord is a rarity. I've always considered Kevin as a mentor of sorts, so the time that I got to spend with him on a one-on-one basis was a true privilege. In hindsight, I can think of few better places to have such an interaction with him than in a place where distractions are few and obligations fade away.

This past January, I made the trip to New Jersey for a second time. This time, however, there were more people present. Once again, I rode with Tim, but this time we were accompanied by our friends Anne Taylor Robertson and Mary Margaret Pike (my friend, Tim's girlfriend). I've been friends with Anne Taylor and Mary Margaret since we were freshman. However, in case you are unaware, I am very introverted. That's not to say that I don't enjoy being around people, because that could not be further from the truth. What it does mean, however, is that it takes me a little while to be comfortable with people. When I do become comfortable with someone, though, I am very loyal. Throughout the first three years we've been at school and participated in Young Life together, I've always considered them to be friends. However, I always felt a bit awkward in interacting with them. It must be known that this is no consequence of their doing, but rather just the way my social skills are wired. They have been nothing but welcoming, I'm just jacked up (kidding, kidding). This car trip, however, gave me the opportunity to hang out with them for an extended period of time. We were sort of forced (I don't like the word, though, because it has negative connotations) to engage in conversation. Although most of the conversation was surface level conversation, I really enjoyed it. I learned so much about them in that time than I have in any past interaction. By the end of the trip, I felt that our friendship had evolved from being friends in the sense that we hung out on occasion, to friends in the sense that I valued their company.

Friendship is an incredible thing. Life is more enjoyable when you have someone to share it with. However, friendship development requires time spent together. In the life of a college student, this time is hard to come by, as schedules seem to be overflowing with plans and obligations. When we finally find time to spend with friends, our environments are so full of external stimuli that quality time is often swept from under our feet. Sometimes, I have found, the only way to develop a friendship is to choose a destination, choose a traveling mate, and drive.

Transcending the Kitchen

The smell of fresh cut grass. The feel of the lingering warmth of dusk in the air. The wonderful smell of cooking meet filling the nostrils. Welcome to the world of grilling. As I have have gotten older, I have found that I am developing a love of cooking out on the grill. There's just something about cooking meet under a charcoal or propane-generated flame that just makes you feel like a man. It's kind of funny though. For as long I can remember (and way before hand, as well), the roll of cooking has fallen on the woman. It has become a symbol of femininity to enjoy cooking. If you asked a man if he enjoys baking or preparing new recipes, chances are he will say "no". However, if you were to suggest that his wife (or any other woman, for that matter) prepare dinner on the grill, he will look at you like you have just asked to castrate him. I know this sounds incredibly chauvinistic, but I honestly believe that this is the way it is. Now, please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that "the woman's place is in the kitchen" or any other sexist bullcrap like that. I am just saying that society tends to have the woman in the kitchen more of then than the male. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. After thinking about this for a while, I believe I have found the major components that separate the grill from the stove: four walls and a roof. Grilling brings together two things that men love: nature and meat. Men (most, at least)enjoy being outside! In a small way, it reminds us of the days when we lived and thrived in the wilderness. The smell of sizzling beef is reminiscent of the time when we hunted our own food, prepared it, and cooked it with our own hands. And there is just something about a big hunk of ground beef or a thick steak that just makes a man's taste buds on the verge of jumping out of his mouth. It makes us feel as that we've conquered the beast! The combination of taste and power creates a feeling in a man's soul that can be equaled by little else. So men, as we enter the summer months, I encourage you to fire up the grill and enjoy the experience that is cooking out. Get yourselves a package of burgers, a few steaks, a pack of brats, or some Ball Park hot dogs, and allow yourself to enjoy the great outdoors.

Hands Off!!

Any guitar player will tell you: his guitar(s) are positioned only below his God and his woman. Because of this, many single men hold their guitars in the esteem of a woman. Personally, I have five guitars that are by far my most prized possession. I have even gone so far as to name them:

"Yvonne" the Yamaha
"Carly" the Carlo Robelli
"Olivia" the OLP
"Emily" the Epiphone
"Autumn" the Fender (I know Autumn's name has nothing to do with her brand name, but she's my favorite and so she get's a special name, due to her color)

Anyway, on to the point of this explanation...

I think we can all agree: you NEVER put your hands on another man's woman in a disrespectful manner. Let's use a wedding reception as a pseudo-metaphor. Let's say I'm the groom. If a friend of mine whom I trust asks for a dance with the bride, I will most likely feel comfortable allowing it. Even if you aren't a skilled dancer, I will allow the dance, and even give you pointers on dancing (not necessarily always with my wife). However, if someone who I don't know, or who I don't trust fully around my new wife asks for a dance, I may allow it, but you can be certain that I will have a close eye on the goings-on. The second that I see said person disrespectfully handling my wife, you can be CERTAIN that it's not going to end well.

In the same way, you never handle a man's guitar without the care that is expected of you. This includes: carelessly strumming, violently plucking strings, knocking it against objects (tables, walls, etc.), banging on the guitar, or even mockingly pretending to play. If you are experienced in playing guitar, by all means, it is most likely acceptable to play another person's guitar ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU FIRST ASK. If you are in the process of learning to play guitar, it is still alright to ask to play someones guitar. They may even teach you a little of what they know.

The point is this: You WILL treat my guitars (and one day my girlfriend/fiancee/wife) with the respect she deserves!!!!

The workers are few...

Earlier today I was thinking about the concept of youth group and how much I actually kind of dislike it. I know it sounds horrible, but it just seemed like something I didn't want to have any part in. As a Young Life leader, I began thinking about how much I prefer the concept of Young Life to that of a church youth group. Knowing this was a terrible thought to have, I began examining my mind to see what it was that I have against this institution that many of America's youth (including myself in the past) take so much part in. What I found was this:

The church youth group, as well as college groups such as Intervarsity and Campus Crusade, really is an extremely valuable tool. There are middle school and high school students all throughout America who believe Jesus Christ is who he says he was, have seen his power, and have (to use a cliche that, again for reasons I can't explain) rubs me the wrong way) have accepted Him into their hearts. These students, however, have so much growing to do. They need to be poured into by adults who have already been where they are and have grown closer to the Lord with time. There are people who are called by God to lead this young group of believers. They have been given a passion for helping young Christians who aren't exactly sure what the implications of their decision are become the thew mature Christ-followers they were meant to be.

A majority of my housemates fall into this category. Out of the eight of us, four are involved in Intervaristy and one is involved in Cru. They have been previously mentored by older Christians who helped them mature into the people they are now. Because of that, they want to do the same for others who are new to the faith. Furthermore, my housemate Jeremy has an ambition to be a Youth Minister after he graduates. He has spent time with middle schoolers who are trying to figure out what this whole "Christianity" thing is supposed to look like. I know his heart goes out to those kids. Jeremy, and others like him, are an asset to the Kingdom. Without someone here on earth guiding us by means of the Word, we would never grow.

But if I have all these good things to say about youth group, then why did I have negative feelings before toward them? It's as simple as this: I'm a moron. I allowed myself to forget that even Christians need to be led. I felt a call at the beginning of College to become a Young Life leader, as I have been given a passion for kids who do not know the Lord. I am a fool to think that the work I do is in any way more important than the work done by my brothers and sisters who work with believers. I forget that we are all a part of the same army. I can lead kids to Christ all day (hypothetically speaking), but if the kids I bring to Christ aren't being mentored in their faith, that faith is just going to die out. This is why I love our YL Leadership meetings so much. It is a time for me to be a pupil instead of a leader. It is a time where I can be poured into by someone who is strong in their faith, so that my strength can be renewed.

To use a modified biblical analogy, the harvest really is plentiful, and workers really are needed. However, let's assume that the "crop" is oil. Now, not all of the workers can do the same thing. Some people, like myself and my 2 other housemates, are responsible for acquiring the oil. However, others, like my 5 previously mentioned housemates, are needed for refining the oil. As followers of Christ, we are responsible for contributing to the Kingdom. However, it is crucial that we be in touch with the spirit to discern where we are most needed. Similarly, we must not forget that we all have the same goal in mind: serving God.

Introduction

So, I decided to start a blog for a number of reasons. First of all, I am an English major who would like to write for a career. If I want to get become an accomplished writer, I need to start practicing. What better way than to write for the whole world to see? None, exactly. Although perfection is completely unattainable, I would like to get as close to it as possible by means of practice.

However, practice isn't the only reason to blog. If you were look inside my head, chances are you would run away frightened at the chaos you would find. I have a hard time organizing my thoughts unless I am putting them into writing. If you've ever talked to me, you probably have seen that I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words sometimes. This is most likely because I have a tendency to have my words come tumbling out of my open mouth before they have a chance to cross my brain. Writing them out forces me to think about what I say before I put it out there, and it let's me take my time.

Often times, I tend to have a profound thought (or just even just an amusing thought) that I would like to share with someone...but noooobody's around. Due to my treacherous memory, by time I strike up a conversation with someone later, I've completely forgotten what I was thinking about. Here is an opportunity for me to share those thoughts, whether people care about them or not.

So there it is, the reason I have decided to start a blog. It's time I start vocalizing the things that are important to me and the things that I find interesting or just plain amusing. Please feel free to comment, or ask me any questions at www.formspring.me/GIJimbo929. Thank you, and good night.